Defenestrated

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw

All the same, it seems only right to have a reason for this blog, however unreasonable I may be.

It exists because I think we need a conversation about being a fella. Seems to me that the stereotypes of bruiser or loser are irrelevant, and have been for a long time. While it would be easy (however painful) to stick to these cookie cutouts of blokedom, they insufficiently describe the spectrum of men who exist. So as we've become more aware of the colors and hues among the male population, we need to start talking about them.

I created this blog to highlight the things I find interesting, and to focus on what has become central in my life. In thinking about many of those things -- family, children -- I started wondering whether there was any place we fellas could actually converse about them. I found nothing that seemed to fit the bill and The Fella is a response to that lack.

There are bright spots. A new magazine, called "Dad", was piloted in the UK in April (see The Guardian's take on this), though I have no idea how successful it's been. The Guardian column, by Hilly Janes, spotlights several surveys:

• 90% of men now attend not just their baby's birth, but the first scan.
• Men now undertake one-third of parental care in the UK.
• 75% of men under 55 were likely to attach more importance to their work-life balance than their fathers did.
• Half of these men did not benefit from family-friendly policies at work:
  • A third said that work seriously interfered with their private life.
  • 25% felt as if they had neglected their children recently.
• 50% of men said they would not trade career progression for more time with their families.
• 20% of fathers work more than 48 hours a week.
• Employers and working mothers are more willing to embrace flexitime than fathers.

This is completely contradictory for men. We want to be more involved at home, to establish more of a balance between home and work, but feel completely incapable of doing so. Why? I don't believe that it's simply down to employment policies; it's more complex than this, and more interesting.

I've forged a life with which I'm happy. I work at home, mostly, and I do a job I like a great deal. I don't earn as much as many but I reap rewards in other ways. I'll write more about this in the future. But I know this kind of balance is possible -- where work and life can interact and build upon rather than in spite of each other.

Aside from all this, my intention is to make The Fella a place where tidbits can be found in plenty and every visit is rewarded with a jewel. I hope you'll join me.